Chuck Norris Facts
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NatsuDragneel | Date: Monday, 2011-12-12, 2:47 PM | Message # 1 |
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| post good chuck norris jokes OMG sorry chuck sir i meant 'facts' not 'jokes' here are some :
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.Added (2011-12-12, 2:47 PM) --------------------------------------------- Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
You know what's the worst job in the world? Being Chuck Norris' shadow.
When he says 'nothing is impossible', he literally means it.
Chuck Norris used to dig ditches as a young man. This is when the Grand Canyon was formed.
When Chuck Norris calls his doctor, pigs will fly
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris multiplied by zero still equals Chuck Norris.
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Batman+Natsu : level facepalm.
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sgn_15 | Date: Monday, 2011-12-12, 5:45 PM | Message # 2 |
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| want a simple fact?
BRUCE LEE >>>>>>> CHUCK NORRIS
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Ryoucchi | Date: Monday, 2011-12-12, 8:05 PM | Message # 3 |
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| 20th Century Fox plans on making the sequel of "Alien vs Predator", titled "Alien vs Predator vs Chuck Norris". But the plan was canceled because nobody wants to watch a film with duration of 14 second.
M.U.G.E.Nはすぐにあなたのシステムを台無しになる The elements of awesomeness. The elements of Nineball
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Shinu | Date: Tuesday, 2011-12-13, 3:27 AM | Message # 4 |
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| inb4 Mr. Popo jokes.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin to slit throats.
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MGSSJ2 | Date: Tuesday, 2011-12-13, 6:37 AM | Message # 5 |
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| Once Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity. Chuck Norris got it back.
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KIX | Date: Tuesday, 2011-12-13, 2:07 PM | Message # 6 |
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| Quote (MGSSJ2) Once Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity. Chuck Norris got it back. xD
http://neuropod.net/imagehost/uploads/c51c674fa9ef4160d2c1ea14a9859c4f.gif <---- 5%
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Ryoucchi | Date: Tuesday, 2011-12-13, 5:18 PM | Message # 8 |
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| Quote (Shinu) inb4 Mr. Popo jokes. Quote (NatsuDragneel) when i posted many more jokes
Remember guys, they're facts, not jokes
M.U.G.E.Nはすぐにあなたのシステムを台無しになる The elements of awesomeness. The elements of Nineball
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Nemesis_LT | Date: Tuesday, 2011-12-13, 5:56 PM | Message # 9 |
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| Chuck Norris is the real Tobi.
Merry Christmas, my friends!
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NatsuDragneel | Date: Friday, 2011-12-23, 4:37 PM | Message # 10 |
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| Quote (Ryoucchi) they're facts, not jokes OMG am i gonna die or what ? sorryAdded (2011-12-23, 4:29 PM) --------------------------------------------- Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Chuck Norris stopped by police for speeding - police got a warning
Newborn babies cry because they know they just have entered the world of Chuk Norris.
The police have new bullet proof vest, it's a T-shirt with Chuck Norris printed on it.
Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
James Bond is the only guy not scared of Chuck Norris, this is why we have went through so many of them
CHUCK NORRIS IS THE 10th BIJUU Added (2011-12-23, 4:35 PM) --------------------------------------------- One day Michael Jackson challenged Chuck Norris into a dancing contest. That was on June 25th 2009. Guess who won.
Dragonball Z was originally "Chuck Norris Z", it was rejected because everyone died in the first episode, and couldn't be wished back.
When all the scouters blew up in DBZ, it was because they had detected Chuck Norris' power level.
Michael Jackson does Moonwalk. Chuck Norris does Sunwalk
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
The Sorcerer's Stone in Harry Potter was actually Chuck Norris's kidney stone
Chuck Norris bought a broken up pickup truck. Now that truck is known as Optimus Prime.
They found Chuck Norris's diary once it is now known as the Guinness Book of World Records. Added (2011-12-23, 4:37 PM) --------------------------------------------- Chuck Norris used to have a small notebook in which he would write stuff he knew when he was a kid, that book is now known as Wikipedia.
On a trip to Italy, Chuck Norris rested for three seconds against a building....it's now known as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Batman+Natsu : level facepalm.
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lol-sama | Date: Friday, 2011-12-23, 4:37 PM | Message # 11 |
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| chuck norris isn't cool,cool is chuck norris
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Websta | Date: Friday, 2011-12-23, 4:55 PM | Message # 12 |
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| Chuck Norris can swim on land Chuck Norris has Xbox Live on his Playstation 3 Chuck Norris is allowed to feed the bears at the zoo Chuck Norris uses diesel instead of Milk in his Cornflakes Many scientists know the speed of light, but only Chuck Norris knows the speed of dark Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey... It's name was "King Kong" Chuck Norris cannot "Love" he can only "Not Kill"
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Mugen_Boy | Date: Friday, 2011-12-23, 6:55 PM | Message # 13 |
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| Quote (Websta) Chuck Norris is allowed to feed the bears at the zoo More like the bears are allowed to feed him lol
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Viz | Date: Saturday, 2011-12-24, 3:28 AM | Message # 14 |
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| You're all fucking faggots.
Chuck Norris jokes are awfully unfunny, just like yourselves. God damn newfags.
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sgn_15 | Date: Saturday, 2011-12-24, 10:49 AM | Message # 15 |
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| Quote (Viz) You're all fucking faggots.
Chuck Norris jokes are awfully unfunny, just like yourselves. God damn newfags. while i also do not like chuck norris jokes, which was the point of your post it is really very very very p.cool of you to really bother registering here, eh? much less posting here and yeah i know that is your account used in other sites and logging in and typing security shit and you are "registered" in ucoz sites and i know you will say "because i can"
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